Growing up my dad had one of those old-fashioned transistor radios, not one of these modern self-tuning radios. As a kid I loved playing with the knobs.
When the radio was off, turning the tuner had no effect, but when my dad switched the radio back on – oh boy! He was not a happy daddy!
I’d get into a lot of trouble when the radio was tuned out. You see, when the tuner is not tuned to the exact frequency to receive the appropriate radio station: All you hear is a bunch of noise.
Now your probably thinking what does this got to do with business?
It has a lot actually; when we are tuned into the wrong channel, something I call the “drama zone” there is a whole lot of noise that would be negative.
That’s why in order to do well in business, we need to fine-tune Radio Self Talk, aka their our inner voice.
The science has proven that positive self-talk that encourages you will get you more than being negative and devaluing thoughts. In a recent interview with Selene Chin where she shared how she used all this background negative noise to grow her business.
Now the reason why this happens is because most of our outward struggles are caused (and also worsened) by our self-talk. The problem with internal dialogue is that:
Nobody but you can hear your inner voice! And we are our worst enemies!
It is very hard for you to argue with your inner voice!
Let’s face it; a lot of the times we as human thing we’re always right, right? Therefore, it’s nearly impossible to argue with our own thoughts and opinions about ourselves!
Most people’s inner voices are very loud!
We tend to agree with our negative inner voice, even in the face of evidence to the opposite.
Self-talk is influenced by our own self-esteem, our perceived ideas of what other people think about us, situations that make us question ourselves, or even triggered by events. It can affect specific areas of our lives, or it can influence our lives as a whole – depending on how we react.
Does Self-Talk Really Have an Influence?
You’d be surprised just how much, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Positive or productive self-talk can inspire you to reach tremendous heights in your business or in your personal life. Even self-confidence is myth, and you don’t need to have it all figured out to get to where you want to get.
Most psychological studies on self-talk have been performed on athletes is fascinating because athletes train in the Art of self-talk—“they prepare their scripts and use them consistently in training under varying conditions to better prepare themselves for competition.”- (According to American Psychological Association)
How Can I Boost My Self-Talk?
I recently did an interview with Selene, one of the inspiring ladies I got to meet as part of my Wonder Women book project. These were some of the tips she gave me on how women could improve their self-talk and become happier and more confident. For Selene, “success is being happy and she has endured many personal struggles to reach business and personal success.” Here she shares the actions she used to help improve her own self-talk:
1. Beat the personal struggles
Hanging onto personal struggles can keep you from moving forward in business and in life. Let it go!
Self-Talk Example: “I’m introverted, so I can’t do this or that.” You can find excuses, or you can find success – not both.
2. Quiet the voices within
If it isn’t helpful, or true – let it go. Positive self-talk pushes you into action. Careful introspection will help you determine whether your self-talk is harmful or helpful.
Self-Talk Example: “I’m perfect.” Thinking you’re perfect can stop you from becoming better, whereas “I’m a success in the making” can push you beyond your own self-imposed limits.
3. Use your tools
If you have strengths or talents, use them to inspire and they will result in improved self-talk. Nothing beats hearing that you’re good at something.
Self-Talk Example: “Let me help you” is one of the best things you can say to someone else to make their day. Saying it often enough will
4. Surround yourself with empowering people
Being around people you aspire to emulate will boost your self-talk.
Self-Talk Example: “I am surrounded by fabulous people!” feels so much better than “I must be a loser, because all my friends are losers.”
5. Give yourself permission
People will always find ways to minimize you, or judge your choices. You don’t have to change your choices or your lifestyle for others.
Self-Talk Example: Self-talk that sounds like “I have the power to make decisions that suit myself and my family” will put you in the driver’s seat of your life.
6. Find balance
Work-life balance is a thread that has run through all my interviews with inspiring Wonder Women. As women it can be hard to find, but if success for you is happiness too, you need to make the time to achieve it.
Self-Talk Example: “I deserve some me-time, because I’m an amazing woman” is a great way to remind yourself that looking after #1 enables you to give back so much more to your family and your business.
7. Be yourself
Stop trying to prove yourself to yourself and to others. You are you, the best person you can be.
Self-Talk Example: “I’m uniquely amazing” – that is the best type of self-talk.
8. Follow your heart
Doing what you love will make you happy and when you’re happy, those around you are happy too.
Self-Talk Example: “I am making a difference” will boost your belief in yourself and help you excel in what you are doing.
Bonus Self-Talk Tip: Be Present
Live in the now. Don’t waste your time on past failures or future stresses. Instead, focus on what’s good in your life right now. Let gratitude reflect the blessings in your life right now, knowing that what you send out, will come back to you. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
What is your favorite positive self-talk comment? I’d love to hear.