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Confessions of a Former Self-Doubter

| October 18, 2013 | 4 Comments

Self-Doubt

Do me a favor and ask yourself an important question: Are you good enough? And I mean really ask yourself that. Do you truly believe you’re good enough to have the life you dream of? Do you think you’re talented enough? Smart enough? Worthy enough?

Most of us will find when we really stop and evaluate our lives, our actions and decisions don’t reflect a confidence in our abilities and potential. Instead, they reinforce the “safe” lives we’re comfortable with and know we can handle.

As a result, our daily decisions limit our futures rather than help us realize our dreams.

I know this because for so long I didn’t see myself as worthy. I had a small-minded view of who I was and, in turn, I was capsizing my ability to succeed.

I grew up in Queens just outside the city. I was the third of four children, born to a mother without a high school education and a father who never made it to college. In the thick of high school, while my dad was dying and my brothers and sister were battling their own demons, I was just drowning in poor self-image and living a lie. One morning, I woke up and was too weak to get out of bed. I remember lying there and making a very intentional choice to start a spiritual & personal-development journey – no matter how long it would take me to to redefine my life.

Anyone, like me in that moment, interested in leaving a safe or miserable life to pursue their dreams and success must understand that at the heart of this journey is changing the underlying conversation in our lives. We must learn to believe in ourselves.

Most of us don’t come into the world with a self-confidence that soars through the ceiling.

No, most of us must choose to believe, no matter where we started and no matter where we are now, that success can be a sweet.  This may be true if we’re willing to take our life off automatic and become empowered by choice. 

For so long I had told myself I wasn’t good enough. Yet, I had to find my sea legs and believe in my self-worth, because I knew that the most important thing about moving forward is not what others think of you, but what you think of yourself.

If someone today gave me the choice of being born into the world with a million dollars or a brave heart willing to believe in myself, every day of the week and twice on Sunday, I’d choose heart. There’s so much value in the soul who dares to be bold and take control of his or her inner dialogue.

And so I challenge you now. 

Confront the fear and self-doubt. Change your inner dialogue and come out the other side a brighter and more courageous soul than ever before. It’s time to start.

1. Take inventory of your self-talk

Think about how you describe yourself, good or bad, and write it down. “I’m not good enough. I’m too fat. That could never be me. Nobody’s better than me. I’m super smart. I’m very shy. I’m not a good test taker.”

2. Identify the self-talk that isn’t serving you

Go back to your inventory and ask for every statement, is this going to serve me to meet my goals in the future?

3. Replace self-talk that no longer serves you

We must change the thoughts we think about ourselves to a new dialogue that will move us forward toward our ultimate goal. “I used to be very shy, but I’m more outgoing than I’ve ever been.”

Lisa DeMayo is a self-made multi-millionaire. She is also a certified life, executive & leadership coach with more than twenty years of coaching experience, and a top-level network marketer – recognized as one of the top income earners with Isagenix. Learn more about CHANGING YOUR INNER DIALOGUE by pre-ordering my book,  “The Art of Getting What You Want!” 

Image Credit: careerrocketeer.com 

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Category: Entrepreneurship, Startup Advice

  • http://www.callboxinc.com/ Belinda Summers

    I love this article! Nobody is born self-confident because it has to be built and it has to progress. The conditions vary from person to person, especially in their living environment. But all of us are growing individuals, believing in one’s self is one step to build better character. The best way is not always the easy way.

  • J Tan

    Hey Lisa, loved that you brought you own personal experiences and a step by step approach to conquering our own self doubt and becoming who we are meant to be. Looking forward to further articles!

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  • gebod91

    Recently I was REALLY low on money and debts were eating me from all sides! That was UNTIL I decided to make money on the internet. I went to surveymoneymaker dot net, and started filling in surveys for cash, and surely I’ve been far more able to pay my bills!! I’m so glad, I did this! – ildv