A recent incident regarding a baby shower for a couple expecting their baby via surrogacy has provoked discussions on social etiquette and norms. The couple sought funds for surrogate expenses during the baby shower, stirring up questions regarding the appropriateness of their request.
Traditionally, baby showers are celebratory events where attendees give gifts intended for the new baby. But as surrogacy becomes more popular, difficulties arise in defining new etiquette. Supporters view the couples’ request as an extension and enhancement of the event’s purpose, though critics see it as a breach of tradition.
Appropriateness is subjective, so that judgment may vary based on individual perspectives. However, the main focus of a baby shower is celebrating a new life, regardless of disputes over the couple’s request.
An anonymous attendee shared her mixed feelings at the gathering. On her invitation was a request for a pack of diapers, a children’s book, and a donation towards the surrogate’s expenses. Moved by the couple’s fertility struggle, she was left unsure about the ethics of their surrogate request and their readiness for parenthood.
She also queried the appropriateness of such financial burdens landing on guests amidst a celebratory occasion. However, despite her reservations, the event was filled with love, personal anecdotes, and heartfelt gestures. The attendee expressed her continued anxiety about growing unconventional family formations.
She believed that the couple should not pass financial obligations related to surrogacy onto guests.
Such monetary matters are personal and ought to be managed responsibly. She suggested they seek professional financial consultation instead of controversial funding practices.
The attendee also argued that the couple’s request was an uncomfortable and direct breach of social norms. She felt this might be a deterrent for some guests. In her view, this highlighted their need to understand socially acceptable practices when requesting assistance.
This issue was brought to light in a column run by Jeanne Phillips, “Dear Abby,” initially started by her mother, Pauline Phillips. For further discussion on this issue, Jeanne can be reached through her website or by mailing a letter to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
