When I first started my business at age 25, I thought that success would happen the following week and shortly after that, I’d be sitting with Oprah and having her ask me questions about my amazing, world-changing website. I mistakenly assumed that most people would be interested in my idea and how I was changing the world, one guy at a time.
When Oprah didn’t call, I began to realize that success wasn’t going to be handed to me on a silver platter simply because I was doing a great thing for the world. My existing customers and clients were astonished and thrilled by the results they were getting with my products and services, but I had one major problem that still exists for me to this day: They were too embarrassed to tell anyone about me or my business.
My Embarrassing Business
I teach guys how to be more confident with women so they can enjoy an exciting “bachelor lifestyle” or find the perfect woman to settle down with. In most cases, a guy will feel too embarrassed to share one of my articles on Facebook or let his coworkers know that he “needs help with the ladies.” As a result, my business is kept in the shadows and only spoken about in secret amongst very close friends.
The desire to start my business was born out of a serious problem in my own life: A lack of success with women. I was 23 years old, I had a great corporate job and dressed in a fashionable way, yet no matter how much I tried to get a girlfriend I was rejected almost every time. It was horrible. Rejection after rejection caused me to lose a lot of confidence in myself and if I was lucky enough to get a date, the spark would quickly fizzle out and I would be left with the tab and a quick goodbye. Deep down, I knew that I was a good guy and that I deserved a better life with women. So, I made a promise to myself that I’d improve my confidence and work out exactly how to find the perfect woman for me.
Eventually, I discovered things that allowed me to have my choice with women. Instead of hoping to get lucky with pretty much any woman who showed me the slightest bit of interest, I was now able to choose a girlfriend from numerous women who really liked me. I know that for some people, it probably sounds like some sort of infomercial cliché, but I literally went from being the guy that women rejected to the guy that women couldn’t stop thinking about. The transformation was dramatic and also very sudden. Initially, I thought I might just be “getting lucky” and meeting the right women by chance, but when it kept happening to me for almost two years straight, I realized that I’d discovered a solution for all the good guys out there who were struggling to find themselves a girlfriend.
When I began teaching my methods for confidence, attraction, dating and relationships, the success stories began streaming into my site. Initially, I got some attention from the media and was featured on TV, interviewed on radio and talked about in the newspapers. However, that initial media buzz eventually died down once the story had been told a few times. After that, it was up to me to keep things going because my customer base were still too embarrassed to share my website.
Despite My Amazing Discoveries and Positive Media Exposure, Success Isn’t Being Handed to Me on a Silver Platter
Even though thousands of my customers have posted up success stories on my website and across the Internet, the world still isn’t banging at my front door about my amazing discoveries regarding confidence, attraction, dating and relationships. I’ve helped thousands of guys go from feeling depressed to happy and from nervous to confident, but that doesn’t mean the world is standing up to notice. For the most part, it is me who has to keep pushing to get through all the noise of the modern media environment, in the hope that I might reach the guys who truly need my help.
My customer base is looking at Facebook, watching the nightly news and feeling depressed about their lack of success with women, completely unaware that I have a tested, proven to work solution waiting for them. To this day, I still get guys arriving at my site feeling shocked at what they’ve just stumbled across. They post up comments saying how they wish they’d known about this sort of thing sooner, because they had just been rejected or dumped by a woman they really love. Yet, most guys who find my site have no idea how much hard work I have to put in just to get the slightest bit of attention on the busy Internet. My website is usually too embarrassing to be shared on Facebook, so getting in front of my intended audience is a huge and ongoing task. It’s enough to make most people give up or move onto an easier job, but I never will.
The One Thing That Has Kept Me Going
I’m now 36 years old and I’ve been running The Modern Man website for nine years. Despite the enormous challenge of trying to cut through the noise and reach my intended audience, I have never given up at any point. The one thing that keeps me going every day is this: I believe in what I do and I am completely passionate about it. I know that what I teach really does work. Evidence of this can be found by the sheer number of success stories on my website and across the Internet (e.g. my highly rated video course on Udemy.com).
I never get tired climbing the mountains in front of me because guys out there really do need my help and I have to make sure that we find each other. I know for a fact that my work is directly responsible for transforming thousands of nervous, self-doubting guys into confident, strong men who are now contributing more to the world and being a great man in their relationships with women. I really am making a difference and I really do believe in what I do, so any obstacle that stands in my way is simply that: An obstacle to overcome. The obstacles are never ending, but so is my determination.
I can’t quickly change the fact that the majority of my customers are too embarrassed to share my website, but I can keep pushing forward and hoping to reach the guys who need my help. I understand why they are reluctant to share the site with friends or coworkers and I definitely don’t hold that against them. If they were to share the site on Facebook for example, they would probably be ridiculed or teased by those around them. So, it is my job to keep pushing.
Why Isn’t the World Rushing to Your Website?
You might have the most amazing website, app or idea going around, but that doesn’t mean your website will be flooded with traffic next week. The fact is, most people will never even hear about your website, let alone visit it, due to the sheer volume of websites online. For example: How many new websites do you check out every week? Let’s assume that you will visit 20 new websites every week for the next fifty years.
Visit 20 new websites per week x 52 years = 52,000 websites.
That is less than 1% of the entire Internet! According to Netcraft’s latest web server survey in April 2014, there are more than 900 million websites online and of those, about 180 million are active. So, the chance of breaking through and reaching your intended audience in their entirety is highly unlikely. Even Facebook, the third most popular website in the world, still hasn’t been visited by every person with Internet access. Reaching your intended audience on the Internet is a massive, ongoing task that simply never ends. Only those who are truly committed to their cause will last the test of time.
Are You Prepared to See it Through?
Statistics vary based on the industry, but most researchers suggest that anywhere from 50-95% of new businesses fail or close up shop within 18 months. In my industry for example, I’ve seen most of my competitors close their websites over the last nine years and move onto new things. I’d estimate that approximately 80% of the “dating advice websites” that started up around the same time as me have since closed down or are now stagnant and not being updated.
For most businesses, mega success doesn’t come easily and instead requires a long hard battle all the way to the end. So, if you’re thinking about getting into business in a competitive environment, make sure that it is something you truly believe in and are truly passionate about. If you don’t sincerely believe in what you’re doing or if you’re not tremendously passionate about it, you can’t expect to remain motivated when faced with the constant obstacles and challenges of business life.
Dan Bacon is the founder of The Modern Man, a website that helps men become and be the type of man that women want to be with and never want to leave.
