I don’t know why so many people blame others for their failures or mishaps in their lives… Maybe it’s their ego, maybe in society failure is seen as weakness, maybe people will make fun of them…Or maybe it’s just easier to blame others for their problems? “It’s not that I’m doing anything wrong, he’s preventing me, or he’s the reason for so and so” I’m not sure why that is though…I don’t understand it. I find it SO easy, after letting go of my ego, to say “I failed because I did this, or didn’t do this.” And the process of learning from it is instantaneous.
I’ve drawn an incredible number of parallels between what may seem like completely opposite things. Think about guys who want to meet girls. Now, before you turn away and wonder why the heck I’m talking about this on an Entrepreneur website, hear me out!
“She won’t like me because I’m ugly”, “I’m not ripped like the Jersey Shore guys” , “She’s out of my league”..
“I’m not apart of the Startup cliques, they’re a close circle of friends”, “I don’t have any connections”, “I can’t compete against Company X”, “My product is great, people are just dumb and don’t like it.”
There are plenty of parallels in the excuses people come up with. Most of which they think they have no control over. But here’s the thing, they’re wrong. The only thing preventing a startup from going out there, from competing, or from getting the super hot girl, is the guy or girl in charge not going out there, not making moves and not listening to customer feedback. Now, you may be wondering, well if you’re born Ugly, you really can’t do anything about that… But what if that’s now what gets the attention of woman? What if it’s confidence. That doesn’t mean you should go out looking like a slob. If 90% of the equation in getting the girl of your dreams is confidence, knowing how to lead a conversation, knowing how to build attraction, and most importantly, going out there and approaching, then the 10% of Ugly means NOTHING. But then you must admit something to yourself. If you don’t succeed in business, you can’t provide for your family, and that means you’re half a man…So what, not everyone is born the most successful entrepreneur…So youre half a man… Work on it and become a full man! But look, there’s no reason you should fail. While many failures bring you closer to success in starting companies, that doesn’t mean you will eventually become the next Steve Jobs, but you’ll definitely get luckier, the harder you work. It’s a numbers game.
And now, think of this… When a guy gets with a girl, they call it “Getting lucky.” Which is odd, because it wasn’t luck. He tried with 10000 girls before, and finally developed the right skills, with the right girl, and won. Or maybe he is naturally good with woman. No one in the startup community thinks it’s luck that they start a great company. Sure there’s a little bit of luck in that equation, in the same way that it’s luck that the girl will like you, because most might not. I know I’ve been on the side that says other guys are lucky because they are gorgeous, and I may be average looking. But when I look at my business and see the past success I have had, people tell me I’m lucky. I’m not lucky, I worked hard to get where I am. Now I just need to work hard some more to pull off another success…And maybe I’ll fail…Probably. But I believe in myself.
The minute you realize the reason you fail is no fault other than yours, and truly look in at yourself and say ‘I need to take responsibility for every single thing’ you will not only feel great, but you’ll be on the road to success. Just like in business, no one will like your startup if you don’t have the confidence in yourself. How can you pitch and convey confidence and energy if you aren’t happy? You need to love your idea and yourself, before anyone else does, in the same way a girl won’t like you unless you like yourself first. You need to get your validation from within.
When you go to networking events, maybe you’re afraid to say hi and introduce yourself. Well, I think if you introduce yourself to enough people, you’ll eventually find your business partner. The more times you try, the closer you are to succeeding. The more skills you develop through failure, the better prepared you are to continue. Never be afraid to fail. Because you will and one day you can look back and see how much you grew.
Stephen M. Levinson
*I’d like to point out, I’m a very friendly, confident, happy and talkative guy, so getting into conversations with people and pitching came somewhat easy for me. But not everyone will be so great at something. And the only reason is practice. The more you practice at something, the easier it is. As with anything. Don’t let yourself blame your environment, or how you were raised, or natural selection from preventing you from achieving anything. You can do anything, and I think this is an extreme example of that. Conquer your fears, forget about failure, and go build your startup!
